Honestly folks, I’m really not judging politics here. I am simply attempting to look at how the authenticity levels of candidates are affecting their public speaking effectiveness. Here’s how I rate the top remaining candidates.

1-10 scale

10 equals perfect authenticity

1 equals phony baloney

Republicans

John McCain. Rating 9. McCain is an inconsistent speaker (his victory speech after the New Hampshire Primary was awful), but he does ooze authenticity. He’s not afraid to say unpopular things; in fact he enjoys doing so. His “let the chips fall where they may” attitude doesn’t help him in front of every crowd or on every issue, but over the long haul, it does cement his image of authenticity.

Mitt Romney. Rating 1. Romney has superb public speaking skills, but he comes across as extraordinarily inauthentic. Romney is obviously highly educated, extremely intelligent, very rational, and a huge talent. But he’s been a moderate/libertarian/liberal his whole life. When Romney speaks, you can almost see a thought bubble over his head that reads “I must tell these rubes this idiotic BS, because that’s what the polls say is popular. Once I get elected I can do what I want.” And now when voters watch him mouthing platitudes that he obviously doesn’t believe in, it’s comical. It’s like watching a public service announcement on TV starring Wink Martindale, the game show host (and Romney look-alike) warning kids about the dangers of watching too many TV game shows. It’s laughably un-credible.

Mike Huckabee. Rating 10. Wow, with Huckabee I get the feeling he could get elected as a member of parliament in Japan—without changing any of his positions. You don’t ever get the sense that Huckabee has any doubts when expressing his beliefs and positions.

Rudy Giuliani. Rating 2. Giuliani looks and sounds phony pretending to be a gun-toting, NASCAR loving, Rush Limbaugh fan. Giuliani is authentic when he talks about 9-11, but when he tries to worship at the alter of Ronald Reagan and pretend to be a conservative, the former mayor becomes a joke. Giuliani’s contempt for traditional values and the 2nd amendment are only surpassed by his love of homosexual cohabitation and cross dressing. Giuliani fighting to be the standard-bearer of the Right as the credibility of jess Jackson running to Grand Wizard of the KKK.

Democrats

John Edwards Rating 2. In 2004, the 50-year old Edwards ran for president as a conservative-centrist North Carolina Democrat. In 2008 he is a Huey-long, left-wing populist. Huh? Edwards takes a lot of flack in the media for fancy haircuts and his mansions because he seems so inauthentic. For goodness sakes, Edwards made nearly half a million dollars last year doing part time work at a hedge fund. Edwards would seem much more authentic if he just smiled and said “It’s great to be rich. I love money!”

Barack Obama. Rating 9. Like McCain, Obama has written a universally acclaimed autobiography. He has been candid about past traumas and drug use. It doesn’t seem to twist and turn with new positions on the campaign trail.

Hillary Clinton. Rating 9. I know I’m going to receive hate mail for this one. But I simply don’t think that the average voter who hasn’t been caught up in the Hillary Hating Media Industrial complex has negative views about Clinton’s levels of authenticity. Clinton is basically a very hard-working, centrist policy wonk. That’s how she talks and it appears to be consistent with who she really is.