While I was at a cocktail party last night on 14th street in Manhattan, a publicist told me the following: “I don’t want to be on TV ever! I want to be behind the scenes. I’d hate to be a celebrity. They have awful lives. Nothing in their life can be kept secret. Please don’t ask me to ever be interviewed or to give speeches.”

Now, this attitude is an affront to my very being; and it’s a very rare attitude to hear from someone working in Manhattan in media circles. But, this publicist’s perspective is a completely normal attitude held by the vast major of Americans and other psychologically healthy people around the globe.

Two quick thoughts came to mind when I heard the publicist make this comment:

1. There is nothing wrong with valuing privacy rights above fame and fortune , and

2. It’s insanely hard to actually become famous. You don’t become famous with one interview or speech or even with 1000.

Personally, I’ve been interviewed thousands of times and/or interviewed people thousands of times. Yet I am hardly a celebrity. The only way I could get in People Magazine now is if I were to kidnap Britney Spears children.

In a fragmented media world of thousands of reality shows, and a gazillions of web sites, it’s actually harder to become a celebrity these days—not easier. And part of the process is sitting through numerous profile interviews.

One of the central elements of the celebrity manufacturing machine is the full profile interview. In a full profile interview, you often sit with a reporter for several hours; sometimes over several days or even weeks. This type of an interview is much more revealing and personal than, say, a quick interview regarding a new product launch. Unlike an interview where you are a spokesperson for a product or a company, in a profile interview, you are acting as a spokesperson for your own life. The pressure is greater in interviews like this. There is also more time for self-doubts to set in like, “Oh my god, the reporter is asking me what music is on my iPod—I’ll look like a fool if I confess I have nothing more recent on my iPod than Led Zeppelin.”

The rules of how to handle yourself in a media interview still apply during a profile interview, but it requires greater discipline due to their often lengthy nature. There are more opportunities to get too cozy with the reporter and start saying foolish, quotable things. You must still have a focused message and deliver compelling sound bites. But you’ve also got to be really interesting as a person, or the whole interview could get spiked.

So how would I let myself be profiled? See for yourself. I recently sat for several hours over a couple of days with a feature writer in Charlotte, NC.

http://www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/press-charlotte2.pdf

The following comes from TJ Walker’s upcoming book “The Wisdom of Your Audience”. Consistently, the worst advice speakers and presenters get, comes from everyone who is NOT your audience. The following gives examples of some of the WORST advice people are often given. It is followed by the advice of your audience. Listen to them. They are your true judge and jury.

What is the most likely speaking disaster I could encounter while presenting?

Your Corporate Communications Director: “Your fonts will be inconsistent in size, shape and color. We, as a company, will look like idiots!”

Your Marketing Director: “If you forget to mention our seven key corporate marketing messages that were signed off on by the CEO last year, this speech will be a wasted effort!”

Your Audio/Visual Technician: “A bulb could burn out on the PowerPoint Projector.”

You: “I could forget some of my transition statements and I will look like a complete idiot. Everyone will laugh at me!”

*** 

Your Audience: “The biggest disaster is that you will have robbed me of thirty minutes of my life that I can never get back. The biggest disaster is nothing…that is, you said nothing interesting, nothing memorable or nothing useful and you wasted my time. Thanks for nothing!”

The following comes from TJ Walker’s upcoming book “The Wisdom of Your Audience”. Consistently, the worst advice speakers and presenters get, comes from everyone who is NOT your audience. The following gives examples of some of the WORST advice people are often given. It is followed by the advice of your audience. Listen to them. They are your true judge and jury.

How can I get over stage fright and nervousness before I give a speech?

Your Motivational Guru: “Think positive thoughts and you will have a positive impact.”

Your Speech Coach: “Picture your audience naked and they won’t seem intimidating.”

Your Mother: “Just visualize all of your audience giving you a standing ovation, and it will happen!”

You: “Maybe if I open with a good joke then everyone will laugh and I will feel relaxed.”

***

Your Audience: “You SHOULD be nervous before giving a speech. Chances are, you are going to bore the hell out of us like most speakers do. Why don’t you try something radical, like actually delivering an interesting, relevant speech full of compelling case studies, stories and examples that will help us improve our businesses or lives.”

The following comes from TJ Walker’s upcoming book “The Wisdom of Your Audience”. Consistently, the worst advice speakers and presenters get, comes from everyone who is NOT your audience. The following gives examples of some of the WORST advice people are often given. It is followed by the advice of your audience. Listen to them. They are your true judge and jury.

Do I need to memorize my speech?

Your Public Affairs Director: “Yes, you will seem more professional if you memorize your speech.”

Your speech Coach: “Yes, with enough hours of rehearsal, you can memorize your speech.”

You: “Ugh!!! I guess I have to memorize my speech. This is going to be long, hard, difficult work, but I guess I have to do it. Goodbye family, friends and fun for the next two weeks!”

***

Your Audience: “Of course we don’t want you to ignore us or read to us or have your head buried in a bunch of papers. But don’t give us too much credit. We can’t really tell if you have memorized your speech or not, and, frankly, we don’t care. If you’d like to use a single page of notes that you refer to from time to time, we certainly won’t hold that against you. Of course the less obvious about looking at your notes, the more you will fool us into thinking you simply know your subject matter cold. There’s certainly nothing wrong with using a cheat sheet. After all, you aren’t taking a geometry test.”

The following comes from TJ Walker’s upcoming book “The Wisdom of Your Audience”. Consistently, the worst advice speakers and presenters get, comes from everyone who is NOT your audience. The following gives examples of some of the WORST advice people are often given. It is followed by the advice of your audience. Listen to them. They are your true judge and jury.

Who/what should I look at when speaking?

Your Therapist: “Look at the clock in the back of the room. This will keep you from getting scared by your audience.”

Your Colleague down the hall: “I look at the top of people’s heads. This way I can’t see them staring back at me.”

Your Speech Coach: “Sweep the room with your eyes, moving in a counter-clockwise movement going from the top left quadrant, to the bottom left quadrant, to the top right quadrant and then the bottom right quadrant every 2.3 seconds.”

You: “I’d like to look right at my audience, but I don’t want to make any mistakes. Therefore I better keep my eyes on my script or on my PowerPoint slides.”

***

Your Audience: “Would you give me a job if I came to a job interview and never looked you in the eyes or shook your hand? Of course not. We hate to sound petty, but if you ignore us, we will ignore you back. If you want to get our attention, look us in the eye. Look at each one of us individually, not as some big sea of people. If we feel and see you looking at us individually, we will pay great attention to you, individually. That will add up to one big attentive audience for your speech.”

The following comes from TJ Walker’s upcoming book “The Wisdom of Your Audience”. Consistently, the worst advice speakers and presenters get, comes from everyone who is NOT your audience. The following gives examples of some of the WORST advice people are often given. It is followed by the advice of your audience. Listen to them. They are your true judge and jury.

How big of a disaster is it if I can’t answer a question during a Q and A period?

Your Public Relations Director: “You will look like a fool! Here is a briefing book with 129 possible questions you will be asked along with a detailed answer for each one. Please memorize them.”

Your Corporate Legal Counsel: “Say ‘no comment’ as often as possible.”

You: “Holy cr*@! This is my worst nightmare. If I can’t answer questions that come my way I will look like an absolute imbecile! I must cram, cram, cram! This question and answer thing has disaster written all over it.”
***

Your Audience: “Ya, it’s possible you don’t know the answer to some question. I vaguely remember that happening to some speaker about five years ago. But if you are going to spend your time worrying about potential problems, why not worry about a real problem: you are going to bore us to death because you are planning on doing a boring data dump instead of sharing with us relevant stories about a handful of key messages. Worrying about not answering some hypothetical tough question makes as much sense as a chain-smoking, junk-food-addicted 295 pound couch potato worrying about the dangers of over-exercise. Sure, both could be a problem, but they are pretty low on the list of likely dangers.”

and I’d like suggestions on the most common questions speakers ask themselves when preparing to speak. The theme for the book is how your audience can always give you the best answers to all of your questions. Please take a look and add your comments on other questions to add.  TJ

Wisdom of Your Audience

Improving Your Speech

Preparing You Speech

1. How should I ask to be introduced? *

Beginning Your Speech
2. What is the best way to begin my speech? *
3. Should I tell my audience that I am very happy to be speaking to them today?*
4. How many Points should I cover in my speech?*
5. Should I make this a formal or informal presentation?*

Using PowerPoint
6. Should I give a PowerPoint presentation?*
7. How many bullet points should I use per slide? *
8. How many slides should I use? *
9. Is it OK to read from my PowerPoint slides?*
10. Should I read my speech in order to not make any mistakes?
11. Should I use a teleprompter?
12. Is it OK to use notes when I speak?
13. Should I play it safe by avoiding humor?
14. How can I best establish my credibility with my audience?
15. How can I best establish the credibility of my company?
16. Should I stand behind the lectern?
17. What should I do with my hands?
18. Should I walk around when I speak?
19. What should I edit out of my speech?
20. What should I add to my speech?
21. Should I use stories in my presentation?
22. Should I be more concise?
23. How big a problem are my “ums” and “uhs?”
24. How can I show how serious I am about my speech topic?
Delivering Your Speech

25. Won’t I lose credibility if I talk about my failures?
26. How long should my speech be?
27. Should I tell ‘em what I’m gonna tell ‘em, tell ‘em, and then tell ‘em what I told them?
28. How big of a disaster is it if I can’t answer a question during a Q and A period?
29. What is the most likely speaking disaster I could encounter while presenting?
30. How should I end my speech?
31. When should I thank my host, introducer and audience?
32. What points from my speech will stick with my audience?
33. How will I know if my speech “worked?”
34. Is it OK to use handouts?
35. Will I steal my own thunder if I email my PowerPoint presentation to people in advance of giving my speech?
36. How do I get my audience to think I’m smart?
37. Should I use special effects in my PowerPoint?
38. Should I use the jargon of my audience?
39. Should I rehearse and for how long?
40. What if there is no time to rehearse?
41. I’m not a technical person, is it OK if I don’t use the slides the right way?
42. Who/what should I look at when speaking?
43. Should I sit or stand when presenting?
44. Who should be my role model for speaking?
45. How should I use modern technology to enhance my speech?
46. Is drawing on white boards and charts too old fashion for modern audiences?
47. Should I use a microphone when speaking to an audience?
48. How can I make better transitions?
49. Are you looking at my hair/makeup/teeth?
50. Will I seem more professional by keeping my body still and planting my feet?
51. Is it a danger to use more than one example?
52. Is it wrong to use more than one story to make a point?
53. Is it bad to be redundant?
54. Is it bad to be redundant?
55. Does my speech flow?
56. If my allotted time is cut, what should I eliminate from my speech?
57. Is it OK to speak faster if I am running short on time?
58. What do I do if I feel I am losing my audience?
59. What’s the worst thing that can happen during my speech?
60. Should I tell jokes at the beginning of the speech to loosen up the audience?
61. If I’m more comfortable holding a pen in my hands while I speak, is that OK?
62. What happens if I make a mistake and say the wrong thing?
63. What If I forget where I am going in my speech?
64. How can I recover from a major blunder in my speech?
65. How can I get a standing ovation?
66. Will I sound more credible if I speak with a lower voice?
67. Will I sound more credible if I speak with an even tone to my voice?
68. Is it OK to use props?
69. Should I tell my audience that I am sick/my plane was late/I didn’t get a full night’s sleep?
70. How can I get invited back to speak again to this group?
71. How can I increase my sales to the group I am speaking to?
72. How can I get my audience to rush up to me after my speech?
73. Is it OK to have a drink before I speak to calm my nerves?
74. Should I show my audience that I am well-organized by telling them at the beginning the outline of my whole speech?
75. Will reinforcing my key points in text on PowerPoint make my audience retain the points more easily?
76. Should I interact with my audience at the beginning by saying “good morning” and then saying “I can’t hear you” to get them to try again with more energy and enthusiasm?
77. Is it OK to drink water during a presentation?
78. Should I take questions during my presentation, or ask people to hold them until the end?
79. Is it safer to weed out the bad questions by asking people to submit their questions in written format?
80. Is it OK to ask questions of audience members?
81. How long do I need to stay around after my speech?
82. Should I show passion by speaking LOUDLY?
83. Should I maintain my professionalism by avoiding all personal observations out of the speech?
84. What bugs you the audience the most?
85. Do I need to memorize my speech?
86. How do I know what messages and topics will be most interesting to my audience?
87. How do I know which messages and topics resonated with the audience the most after the speech?
88. Don’t great speakers have to be taller, older, richer, deep voiced than I am?

89. How will I know what my audience will remember? *

Here’s what Jack Nicholson was quoted as saying in this month’s Men’s Journal:

You know, I’m phobically frightened of public speaking in a way that I find very unattractive. I get my household in a dither before such occasions. I call in everybody for their two cents.”

It’s not surprising that Nicholson is scared by public speaking. Speaking is fundamentally different from acting. Speaking is more personal and therefore more revealing. Nicholson deserves credit for admitting to a fear that afflicts most mortals.